My Own Disaster...

Nothing much to say bout me... I grew up in a small and laid back town (not anymore... fucking MMU shit!) I'm from a huge family. I used to live wit my grandparents, aunt, uncle and including my parents under one roof. That time my dad didn't make enough money to get a house of our own. He lived a hard life. He used to work on an oil tanker in Singapore painting and repair some damaged or rusted surface of the ship. Sometimes in a monsoon season he got stuck in the middle of the ocean till the storm is calm. My aunt visited him once to check on his living conditions. She break down in tears to see my dad live in a small dirty wooden house that looks like a den. His kitchen is a place for his work mate's 3 kids to sleep. Soon he quit his job and started working in a factory in my home town till now. He and my mum used to stay up late to pack candies into small plastic to sell in my aunt's canteen just to earn a few ringgit to feed their family. In the morning before goes to work he will help out mum to make some nyonya cake to sell. Poor dad, lack of sleep depressed and tired all the time. But he never show his emotion, seeking help is his last option. He always find a way to settle his problems.
I almost lost my dad 3 times. Once in a fire at his workplace where he dash into the burning building to save ppl's life. He received a purple heart medal for dat. Second, he crash his bike while on the way to the police station to bail his bro. Third, while working. He's handling some chemical stuff one day and suddenly a acidic like substance explode and burned his face. He recover soon after. Lucky lad huh? Maybe god loves him thats why.
Well thats a few story bout my dad. There's more coming up....soon i think. He pamper and shower his three son so much and he don wan his kid to go through wat he had gone through. I know so well that i can never be like him...
I love art. I love anything bout it. My interest for art grew since i was 5 years old. I express everything through it. Anger, hate, sorrow... and so on. I still remember spending my favorite past time drawing on a huge piece of mahjong's paper given by my grandma. In school, i spend most of the day drawing. On work book, text book, desk and even on walls. Got caught from teachers lotsa time. Da' fuck i care, i draw a lot.
My teen years fucked up. I got depressed all the time, sometimes suicidal. All this mass of shit slowly make way for me to generate hate for this world, ppl and everything. Don't know wat's the actual reason. Ppl say i worried and think too much. I love being alone all the time, locked up in my room daydreaming while songs of hatred playing loudly on the stereo. Sometimes I'll draw out a couple of disturbing tortured human or babies pic to express how i felt at that time. It actually makes thing worse.
Music changes me a lil' bit i guess. At least i got the chance to express how i felt or wat I'd gone through verbally. It all started since i was young. My dad used to be a rocker. Ha ha... it's true! He's a guitarist. When I was young he makes me listen to lotsa' lotsa' classic rock such as Deep Purple, Pink Floyd, GNR, Black Sabbath and lots more. Actually he didn't really "make" me listen to it. He blast it out loud on his hi-fi and even in his car... god, the suffering. When i was eleven, he bought me a guitar and hope that I'll learn to play it like he does. Instead... Sorry , pa... I'm "sucks" real bad.
I'm serious bout' music in my teen years. I write lotsa' lyric dat time. Most of it is punk songs. My bro tot it's a good idea to have me in his band, so he brought me to a jamming session one time and i think it's somewhere in the year 2001. I'm still in the band and still remain loyal till now. We've released two e.p's after we won Best Image for Battle Of The Bands in Malacca ( imagine all of us in kung-fu costume, dodgy...) We'll be releasing three of our singles soon, Aishiteru, Silent War and Tomodachi ( wat's up wit the Japanese thingy?... we'll most of our songs is in Japanese and English... cos we're Nihonjin freaks! )
Did i mention music changed me a lil' bit? Wanna know wat changes me a lot? Get ready aite, cos this kinda mushy la. It's an ethereally, perfect, beautiful human being named Li Yen. We met in Ben's Cafe, owned by her dad and managed by my uncle. I used to work there as a chef and she's the cashier. Love blooms when i discovered that both of us got lots in common, from music to art and from fashion to past experience and even simple little things. So so much in common, it's perfect.
Kinda' awkward at first when we're officially becomes a couple. we tried so hard to talk like normal couple, but it seems so hard cos yesterday you're both friends and today a couple ha ha ha. even wanna hold her hands for the first time also ask permission kononnya don wan her to feel uneasy. I've said out the most dumb ass question when i wanna hold her hand... "eer... why u put your hands in your pocket, i wanna hold also so susah".... lol, we still laugh bout it each time we remember that incident.
Those who see her for the first time might misjudge her for looking innocent and weak, but to me she's the most strongest and toughest girl I've ever met in my whole life. She's the most understanding person I've ever know. She's some one you can talk to almost about anything, a good listener ( a bit stubborn too :P ) She always stands up for me all the time. Now, it had been 2 years plus we're together and we've gone through really a lot and one thing for sure I'll always knew and glad that she'd stand by my side through all the ups and downs and she's always there for me. Thanks a lot baby, i can never repay you in life and death.